After a Raw that saw an obscenely expensive jacket get ripped to shreds by a man who has no business carrying a pair of scissors, SmackDown has arrived. While there wasn’t any further jacket destruction, Chris Jericho did introduce a new jacket that will likely play into a Pay-Per-View stipulation. That moment was one of the best of the night.
Moments that didn’t make the cut but were still notable included Big E getting scolded for repeated attempts at using risque speech, Lana throwing water into Kalisto’s face, and Bob Backlund being a crazy old guy who made Darren Young do 200 squats for using his phone to check the time. Old people are confused and senile and it’s hilarious!
This isn’t a comprehensive review of SmackDown, but rather my thoughts on what the best moments of the night were. Assume this list is definitive and authoritative…or disagree. You have a right to your opinion.
5. The Golden Truth Sort Of Finally Forms
Is Breezedango an okay name for Tyler Breeze and Fandango? Or maybe we’ll call them The Beautiful Dance? How about Selfie Sticks and Hip Gyrations? I’m not sure if Breeze and Fandango have officially formed a tag team together but they did join forces after they got fed up with the nonsense of the two guys that were their partners going into this match.
When R-Truth and Goldust found themselves to be the legal men on opposite sides of the ring, they refused to fight each other. They DO love each other! It was a beautiful moment in which the crowd briefly started a “Golden Truth” chant. The chants may have been piped in, but if that’s the case then please don’t message me or comment about it to set me straight. I want to live in a world that for at least a moment was happy that Truth and Goldust were finally coming together.
— What a Maneuver! (@WAManeuver) May 13, 2016
The moment didn’t last forever because as I already stated in the Breezedango paragraph above, they were attacked by their respective teammates. There will likely be a tag team match to settle the score and kick off The Golden Truth’s run in the near future. I’m hoping that The Forbidden Dance (nailed it!) will at least get an Extreme Rules pre-show match out of this. (Feel free to comment below with your own catchy tag team name suggestions for Tyler Breeze and Fandango below – even though it’d hard to top The Forbidden Dance.)
4. Playtime Is Over
Dana Brooke had her debut match on the main roster against Becky Lynch on SmackDown. It was notable because she scored a win over the superstar who competed for the Women’s Championship at WrestleMania 32, but that’s not the moment I’m choosing to highlight. It was Dana’s promo prior to this big win that impressed me the most.
When interviewed alongside her pal Emma, Brooke explained why she chose to attack Becky from behind on Monday night. She talked about how Emma was at the forefront of the Women’s Division in NXT, but when Lynch came along, people focused on her instead. As she explained her actions while flexing her biceps (she is a bodybuilder, by the way), she seemed like an absolute natural on the microphone.
Brooke was always a standout talker in NXT. She’s proclaimed herself to be THE Total Diva in the past and has smugly patted those she disliked on the head. Watching this interview on SmackDown, it became clear to me that she might be the most talented female talker that WWE has. She’s so comfortable with her character, and it’s enjoyable to watch. She’s a natural.
3. Two Codebreakers In A Straitjacket
Are Dean Ambrose and Chris Jericho building towards a straitjacket match at Extreme Rules? Judging by the opening of SmackDown, that seems to be the case. Some sort of unique stipulation should be expected and I can’t remember the last time I’ve watched that kind of match so why not?
— 🎭 Maria ❄ 《마리아 》Sanchez ⁷ 🧈 (@ARMY_KPOP_97) May 13, 2016
Ambrose was in the middle of the ring, talking about his beef with Y2J when the arena went dark. Jericho’s music hit, yet nothing could be seen. It seemed like the prolonged pitch black was due to Chris’ fancy light up jacket getting destroyed on Raw, but he deviously chose to use the entrance as an opportunity to strike.
Jericho attacked his foe from behind. While Ambrose was loopy, Chris placed him inside of a straitjacket and then beat on him as he came to. Jericho gave him a Codebreaker before a team of refs came out to stop the attack, then gave another in the midst of the black and white stripes. Chris was ruthless as the two march on to a singles match at Extreme Rules.
2. The Club Levels The Usos
The only presence of WWE Champion Roman Reigns and his Extreme Rules challenger AJ Styles was during interview segments with their buddies before this tag team match. Both guys said they’d come out to assist if either guy shows up, which surprisingly didn’t happen in this contest between Gallows & Anderson and The Usos.
What did happen was a DQ finish that led to a fun brawl on the outside. It felt a little wild and chaotic, something that I haven’t felt like these guys have yet been able to achieve without Roman or AJ involved. It was good that they could do that on their own.
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 13, 2016
Gallows & Anderson finally prevailed when they brought a steel chair into the mix. As both Jey and Jimmy were lying unconscious on the ground, Anderson sat on the chair while Gallows stood tall behind him. They both threw up their Too Sweet hand gestures in celebration.
1. The Miz Stands Tall
Next to the AJ Styles vs. Roman Reigns feud, WWE’s current Intercontinental Championship division is the best thing going. Champion The Miz has Kevin Owens, Cesaro, and Sami Zayn all vying for his belt and that’s a heck of a short list of challengers. On this night, a tag team match main evented with the guys split along heel/face lines.
Owens was the man to score the winning pinfall against Cesaro after he hit him with a Frog Splash, and that’s when the really fun stuff happened. The guys traded blows and specialty moves until Kevin was able to Popup Powerbomb Sami Zayn. The Miz, sneaky as he is, immediately came up behind Owens and dropped him with his Skull Crushing Finale.
The Miz standing tall among his three fallen challengers is how the show went off the air, a visual that made me particularly happy. I love The Miz. This is such a great mix of wrestlers and this SmackDown main event continued to add fuel to everybody’s fire.
Thanks for reading my thoughts on SmackDown. If you like this style of review then go back and also read my 5 Best Moments From Raw 5/9/16: Ric Flair Is A Velociraptor. Also, follow me on Twitter @MitchNickelson. Thanks for reading.