It’s time for Commentfest and for me to copy and paste my usual intro because I can’t think of anything new to put. At least I’m honest.
Commentfest is where we dive deeper into WWE Monday Night Raw to give you even more witty and smartass comments about WWE’s weekly Monday show. This is the 7th edition of the reboot of what we like to call Commentfest.
The comments come from loyal TJRWrestling readers on my Facebook page. Their comments will appear in blue and red font while my comments (often times sarcastic) will be in black in (parentheses) like that. To help break up some of the text, I’ll insert some clips from Raw at the part where the readers are talking about it. I won’t do it for the whole show, but a few clips helps to break up the text. I sifted through the comments to pick out the best ones. Let’s get to it. (I just copy that in every week. Saves time.)
Let us celebrate the return of Commentfest by the adding of chocolate to milk. (A dynamic duo.)
Welcome to The Commentfest discussion page where we mock the absurdity of the WWE creative also WWE Raw where they can’t get all of their stars on the opening video because they’re idiots.
Commenfest: You’re gonna get these comments.
They actually think this Brock thing is gonna babyface Roman. They’re wrong.
Reigns is “the workhorse”? I thought he was a supersized snoopy.
Roman is beloved? YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT HE IS!!! (Hi Vince.)
Brock is Vince’s boy? No. Roman is Vince’s boy!
It would be hilarious if this was actually a real thing. I’ve never thought that Brock gives a shit about WWE. (Thanks for posting, Sable.)
Shane at gorilla on Raw? Invasion 2.0?
Yeah Roman you are mad at Vince….the guy who shoved a rocket up your ass even though the fans are against it.
Let me know when the only Samoan named Joe the WWE fans care about shows up. (I miss Joey the Samoey.)
The utter ridiculousness of Roman calling anyone Vince’s boy is hilarious.
I hope Vince’s tie came with a bowl of soup, PAL!
So now Reigns is Dusty Rhodes now? I don’t recall Dusty wearing a vest!
I recall another wrestler now UFC guy who walked out and didn’t show up “for work”… whatever happened to him? (Thanks for asking, AJ Lee. How’s Phil?)
Congratulations Vince. You’ve found a way to get Roman over, bravo…
I have to agree with everything Reigns has said for 3 straight weeks.
Going the Austin route, I see. Not going to work. (They sure like going back to that from time to time.)
Wait you’re building a main event match by not having either guy show up? Brilliant.
Deville needs to go back to her old NXT theme. It really makes her come off as a real badass.
Mandy Rose can shock my world in a very good way anytime.
You don’t become a John Report reader and be shocked by anything…Coach.
Raw would be so much more enjoyable if they streamed commentfest along the bottom of the screen. (Only if they pay me.)
Don’t turn Bayley heel! Think about the children. (Thanks for posting, Helen Lovejoy.)
Hopefully the Smackdown crowed can show Vince who should main event Wrestlemania and it’s not Reigns/Lesnar.
Wow, no Bayley. Awful friend.
All time greats go in the Hall of Fame… and also Kid Rock.
Wait, Kid Rock has performed for WWE more than Saliva? Wow. (Thanks for posting, one guy who remembers Saliva.)
Yeah, us millennials don’t know Kid Kash.
I understand why this is happening but it’s completely unacceptable that Kid Rock made the WWE Hall Of Fame before Aretha Franklin. (And Robert Goulet.)
The 2018 HOF class looks like the rejects from the island of misfit toys. (Thanks for posting, Hillbilly Jim.)
This Hall Of Fame class is weaker than a Barry Horowitz push.
The Intercontinental match at Mania….or as I like to say 3 guys who should be in the Universal Title match over Roman.
Finn looks like someone left Batista in the dryer too long… (Well played.)
Commentfest is the official sponsor of the Miz TV… Miz TV… connecting household years before Hulu, Netflix, and Youtube TV….
Miz stole Graves’ haircut.
Finn can’t wait to get to SmackDown.
Someone is gonna face the greatest IC champion at Mania? Is Cousin Honky Tonk making a comeback?
You guys buy your tickets to the John Cena one man pity party? (Just a minute, I need to park my Ferrari.)
Cena dove too deep into his method acting… he’s playing Eeyore in that Christopher Robin movie.
If anyone is need of an attitude adjustment, it’s Cena. FOR GOD’S SAKE MAN GET OVER YOURSELF.
The Bar vs. Social Outcasts… It’s the team that set the standards against the team that can’t even sit at the cool table in the lunch room…
Big Rhyno chant for the home town boy.
Why can’t the Bar defend against all those teams? What’s the Logical explanation for that? (Because WWE doesn’t do enough multi-person matches? I think they do enough.)
Titus Worldwide should not be out there. The Bar kicked their ass already.
Spoiler: Cena is going to 205 live to interject himself in the cruiserweight championship tourney…. so he can have his path to the finals… and to *point at sign* WrestleMania! (Let’s just ignore the weight limits.)
Cena: I didn’t get pinned as Fastlane last night…
Logic: Um… this is Raw, not Smackdown.. why does that matter to us?
Canton: There won’t be any brand pay-per-views after Wrestlemania…
See, this is the shit I’ve ALWAYS hated about Cena. He’s supposed to be sad and depressed but his entrance and demeanor is the same as it always is.
John Cena will be the PITY host of Wrestlemania!
Even John Cena tries to put Roman Reigns over ..didn’t work!
This whole segment would be more believable if Cena said he was going to be the host of Mania.
Y’all want this Taker/Cena match, but y’all know DAMN WELL you’re gonna trash it as it’s happening. (Thanks for posting, Michelle McTaker.)
Hey Cena…have you forgotten that the Undertaker is 53 YEARS OLD AND HAD HIP SURGERY?
I feel like Father Time is the individual stopping this match.
Undertaker and egomanic are two words that I’d never thought I’d see in the same sentence.
John Cena is the world’s wealthiest panhandler. Stop begging.
That beer dude looked crusty as hell. I hope Cena doesn’t wake up with the herp.
So…since Kid Rock is going into the Hall of Fame, how about we get the American Badass this year? (Vince apparently didn’t like the gimmick, but guess there’s a chance of it.)
God knows a multi-millionaire whining that he’s not getting another 10 million for an hour’s work is endearing to the fans. Ted Dibiase was more sympathetic than this when he made young RVD kiss his nasty foot.
By the way, I’d just like to point out that my commitment to Commentfest is so strong that I’m participating in it from inside the arena at the show. I love this shit. (Thanks for posting, Triple H. Congrats on marrying rich.)
Braun Strowman has almost wrecked as many cars as Jeff Hardy.
Elias decided to walk with Elias.
I’ve got more body fat in my pinky than Finn and Seth have in their whole bodies.
Coach, Rollins won the WWE Championship in his first match back. Your argument is invalid.
Balor hit Rollins as hard as Jeff Hardy hit that guardrail. (Ouch.)
Here comes the “this is awesome” chant for a match that’s merely good. I wish that chant would die a death.
Love that superplex roll.
That was a great counter by Balor.
I love how they lionize Moolah knowing the countless stories out there about her treating proteges like shit.
So now we’ve got 2 pointless battle royals at Mania. Um…….yay?
I’d rather have the Sherri Martel Memorial Battle Royal. (I agree.)
Must we beat the memorial battle royal horse some more? What’s next, a cruiserweight one? (A battle royal for men with long black hair, beards and wear black. That’s like half the roster.)
I must say the best song stuck in my head lately is ..LANA IS THE BEST LANA NUMBER 1 (clap clap).
To younger wrestling fans, please do not Google the Fabulous Moolah.
Asuka looks like a sushi waitress who got into the sake’.
Can we just get someone to speak on Asuka’s behalf? Not knocking her for trying, but her accent and language barrier is a major problem on RAW. (So is Mikey Cole.)
Still don’t like Mickie as a mostly silent lackey.
Didn’t Asuka… already beat Alexa? (She sure did non-title and never got a title match.)
Mickie doesn’t say much these days, but her sexiness speaks volumes! (True and she should speak more. She’s a great talker!)
Asuka’s English isn’t great but stealing Ric Flairs line to fit Charlotte was gold. (I agree.)
My Filipina wife caught me trying to dye her hair red and green the other week. Don’t print this.
The Big Show thinks Mickie James heel turn was nonsensical.
So Alexa just abandoned Mickie after losing to Asuka, nice friend Alexa.
As a motivational speaker, Alexa’s no Dr. Shelby. (He’s a professional.)
Nia looks really annoyed she even had to waste her time out there.
It’s GTV in color.
So Nia is getting the Big Show’s crying gimmick? (Thanks for posting, Big Show.)
And on this Women’s month, WWE presents a hidden camera in the women’s locker room!
Poor Nia’s homeless now.
Nia is having her Alicia Fox moment right now.
I’d dare Alexa to tell Bull Nakano or Aja Kong they were fat.
Whoever did it, I still want to know exactly how they snuck that camera and microphone combo into the women’s dressing room. No, I’m serious: I really want to know.. write it down, something. Please don’t print this. (Sorry.)
Alexa saying “backdoor, backdoor” was the promo of the night… (WELL YOU KNOW.)
Get my dilapidated boat.
Remember when Bray Wyatt was a cross dresser for a week? That was a thing that happened. (Let’s try to forget it.)
Bray just lost that promo battle.
Anyone notice the crowd reaction to Romans suspension from Vince is much different on the replay than earlier live? (WWE loves editing!)
I don’t give a shit about Heath Slater. (I’d say thanks for posting to Brock Lesnar, but we know he wasn’t watching.)
Braun is here to destroy things.
Strowman/Elias for tag team champions! (Guys with beards!)
Seriously what did the Revival do to deserve this? (Vince likes pretty abs.)
Coach mistaken Rhyno for Bo.
Strowman must pose.
Bury the Tag Team division ..bravo WWE! *stupid idiots
Way to shit on the entire tag team division. (Poop.)
Strowman and The Big Show vs. The Bar at Mania.
Elias will be Strowman’s partner lol.
Get the Revival to Smackdown.
Now Braun will be able to say, ‘IM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!’
They ended early. That’s rare. (I love it.)
The Bar is probably on the way to a bar to drink the image of Braun being he tag team champ out of their heads.
I thought Raw was pretty good. A couple of interesting things happened with Asukas leg injury and Braun Strowman winning the tag team battle royal. I like it when the WWE creates intriguing situations which they need to do more often.
So ends another Raw and what have we learned tonight WWE still hasn’t learned their lesson from the Piggy James storyline with Nia/Alexa/Mickie………Braun can win a Tag Team battle Royal by himself……..Vince treats Reigns like one of his kids………..Coach can’t tell the difference between Bo Dallas and Rhyno………And Ronda Rousey isn’t going to be on Raw every week….So as we close and say good bye let’s try to keep our sanity after from the booking stylings of a 70-year old lunatic who is about as out of touch with his fan base as the Cleveland Browns front office good night everyone.
That’s all for us. Thanks for the support of everybody on the Facebook page and feel free to add in some thoughts below too.