Welcome to my very sarcastic analysis of another WWE Raw PPV. I have been busy teaching kids about Ancient History and didn’t have time to learn things from WWE pay-per-views. But you have to learn from a show called “Great Balls of Fire” right?

It was a bloody night to say the least. We had solid matches, lots of heels winning and an attempted murder? What did I learned from the proceedings in Dallas? Well…..

Twenty-Five Things I Learned From WWE Great Balls of Fire 2017

 1.) Is David Otunga bringing up boy bands on a WWE pre-show? He really adds a lot to every show he is on.

2.) Does Paul Heyman think standing behind a chair is a way to prevent an attack from Samoa Joe? Is Joe afraid of chairs?

3.) I don’t mind the opening montage showing a drive-in theater but how many pro wrestling fans even have the context to a drive-in experience in 2017? Way to stay topical WWE!

4.) I learned Neville is never going to lose that Cruiserweight title. I mean who can actually be credible enough to beat him at this point. And when a show called “Great Balls of Fire” win a shot to the balls. Neville you are a genius.

5.) Bray Wyatt has the coolest entrance for a guy who never wins.

6.) What? Bray Wyatt actually won a match. Sure it required a poke to the eyes but he did control most of the match regardless. Rollins seems lost at this moment in terms of where his character is going.

7.) Enzo is a great promo guy but I am a little worried about the content. He is bringing up Frank Sinatra songs in 2017. The WWE remains topical yet again!

8.) I learned I was not surprised at all by the squash match that occurred. Big Cass needed it if you are going to build that character as credible going forward. That being said he likely needs a better theme song going into the future. It was generic as can be.

9.) Dixie Carter will be on a WWE program on Monday night? I guess the WWE mantra of “never say never” really is true.

10.) I guess there is really no dress code in Miz’s crew. I mean Curtis Axel is in a nice suit and Bo Dallas is going to a Dad’s biker weekend. Have consistency in your expectations Miz.

11.) I loved the fact the first pinfall in the Ironman Match occurred in ten seconds. It builds the underdog role for the Hardy Boyz right away.

12.) I loved that Cesaro cheated to cause Matt Hardy to lose a fall by count out. It was well done and put the Hardy’s in big hole they had to climb out of.

13.) It was great to have the heels get the last pin fall with about twenty seconds left and proceed to run for their lives. It worked and established Sheamus and Cesaro as some crafty heels. It was clearly the match of the night.

14.) Matt Hardy’s cut looked painful. It was really a night of a lot of bleeding.

15.) I learned that none of the Raw announcers have ever watching Smackdown. Otherwise why would they freak out by Alexa Bliss being double jointed? They acted that it was such an amazing thing that have never been seen before. Watch the WWE programming guys!

16.) What? Another heel keeping their title by a count out. Didn’t we just see that at Money in the Bank a few weeks ago?

17.) I think that Sasha Banks really hates her knees based on how she treats them.

18.) I would have a lot to say about Dean Ambrose versus the Miz but I swear I have seen it 300 times before. Move on to a new Intercontinental feud please.

19.) I love that Braun forgot the match had no pinfalls and went for a pin. What was his solution to the screw up? Why it is time to randomly yell. Brilliant cover Braun. Brilliant.

20.) Roman Reigns loses the match by being a dummy. I guess that is one way to book your future star right?

21.) I am glad to see Roman accepted the loss like a proper good guy and moved on to the next match. What? You mean he didn’t do that? He attempted to murder a man instead? That isn’t very face like!

22.) I am angered we missed out on seeing the ending to the classic Heath Slater vs. Curt Hawkins match. That is another money feud down the drain.

23.) How is Braun not a face after surviving a murder attempt? Seriously?

24.) Brock is really good at selling an attack. And turning purple. He is really good at that too.

25.) I learned that Samoa Joe is the only WWE wrestler who cannot kick out of someone’s finisher. It took only one F-5 from a weakened Brock Lesnar to lose Joe? Come on man.

Final Thoughts

 Despite the ridiculous name, Raw put on one of their better single branded shows. It was a little surprising to see the heels win everything but it lead to some interesting feuds going forward.

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Feel free to contact me at lasher@pacificu.edu. Additionally, I have my Twitter account, WWEBNRL as well. I would love to hear your thoughts on Great Balls of Fire.